Desperate Housewife

Good evening, dear readers! Maude Berthiaume here to regale you with a story about my favorite family in Mt. Geneva: the Kilmans. I must warn you that parts of this tale might make you gasp, weep — or worse! — and that only the stoutest of hearts should continue onward. Does that sound familiar? I know I said something of the sort before, when poor Sid Kilman was killed by that awful Noodlesoother; please rest assured that no one dies in this little episode. But you can have tragedy without death, and here is tragedy aplenty, my friends…tragedy enough to coax ghostly tears from your humble narrator!

As you may recall, Bailey and Joey Kilman had a daughter named Shea. Bailey hadn’t been the most enthusiastic of pregnant women (unless it came to cleaning the house), but once Shea was born, she threw herself wholeheartedly into the rigors of motherhood. Joey was relieved by Bailey’s devotion to Shea, for he was working long hours at Moneywell Computers trying to climb his way out of the mailroom and couldn’t spend as much time with his little daughter as he would have liked.

When Shea’s birthday rolled around, her aunt Tiffy baked her a cake, and the Kilmans gathered on the deck for a little celebration.

Birthday party

Surprisingly, Bailey detached herself from Shea long enough to let Joey hold her, and there was much whooping and hollering as the bright-eyed babe grew into a twinkling toddler. At least, I thought she was twinkly and cute. In fact, she reminded me of her father when he was younger. But Bailey seemed to frown as she took Shea in her arms — clearly she wasn’t pleased with what she saw.

I have to admit, Shea looked a little odd, but it’s just those altitudinous Kilman cheekbones. I knew she’d grow into them eventually! And why did it matter, when she was still the same lovely little girl that Bailey had cooed at and coddled for months and months?

Shea in her crib

But something changed in Bailey after that night. The rigors of motherhood were no longer a joy to her, but a burden. Now that Shea was a toddler, she was more demanding, crying in the middle of the night for her bottle or a diaper change, whining when she couldn’t see her mother or father, getting into things she shouldn’t — in short, doing what all toddlers do. It was starting to wear Bailey out.

Over time, Bailey gradually gave care of Shea over to Tiffy and Joey and spent more time visiting her friends and meandering through Mt. Geneva’s little collection of shops — anything that would get her out of the house. Poor Shea! The mother who had once doted on her was drifting slowly away. Thankfully Tiffy was around to fill some of the void. Tiffy didn’t mind babysitting so much — it was refreshing to play with Shea after a long day at the hospital, and by the time Shea was old enough to go to school, they had become rather close. They even enjoyed watching the same kinds of movies — horror movies, preferably about ghosts.

Tiffy and Shea watch TV

In the meantime, the rift between Joey and Bailey had grown wider and wider, until they barely said two words a day to each other. Bailey seemed as sick of Joey as she was of Shea, and Joey knew that no matter how hard he tried to please her, she’d never be happy with him. But of course our Joey kept on trying in small ways, buying her jewelry and flowers, and letting her do whatever she wanted.

A silent dinner

Alas, Joey’s efforts were in vain. The jewelry and flowers only pleased Bailey to a point — what she really craved was adventure…romantic adventure. She wanted to feel young and carefree again, to be on the “hunt” like she was when she was single, and Joey couldn’t give her that.

She became so obsessed with returning to her heyday that she started flirting with everything that moved. She scared the poor gardener away one day by suggesting he come in for a glass of cool raspberry ice tea and a warm soak in the bathtub…with her.

The gardener leaves

He walked away disgusted and didn’t show up the next week, leaving Bailey to tend to the garden on her own. In her lingerie, of course. Such desperation!

Bailey gardens in her nightie

Bailey soon grew tired of trying to entice the neighbors (whom she didn’t find all that appealing anyway) and decided it was time to find a richer hunting ground. While everyone was at work and school one day, she got all gussied up and climbed into Joey’s new Ferrari. (Luckily for her, Joey had taken the carpool with Tiffy that morning.)

Bailey in the Ferrari

Now, I had to shake my head at this, dear readers, because when Joey got his promotion bonus and bought the flashy new car he had always wanted, Bailey said nothing. No congratulations, no pat on the back, no “hey, sweet ride!” You would think he had brought home a flaming bag of poo instead of the fanciest car in Mt. Geneva! But her indifference was all an act, calculated to show how little she cared about Joey and his accomplishments. She was actually thrilled about the Ferrari itself — you could tell by the way she stroked it lovingly before climbing in, and the luxurious sigh that emanated from her as she sank into the leather seat. And of course she barrelled down the road at rather unsafe speeds, going even faster than Joey does when he’s late for work.

The Ferrari, you see, had finally given her a means of escape.

(continued on Page 2)

29 thoughts on “Desperate Housewife

  1. Wow! Great post Maude! Er…I mean Jen! Hehehehe, I’m soooo glad you’re back! And awesome picture quality! No matter what I do, my sims still look a little rough around the edges. But if I move the sliding bar thingy all the way down, my game runs way too slow. So oh well! lol anyways…Yay jen!

  2. 1. That old lady shot was hilarious. What was she doing at a nightclub? shouldn’t she be resting in her retirment home bed?

    2. Thbbttttt on Bailey. She can go and leave Shea to people who really love her. Now Maude has to find a really nice woman for Joey. I nice one, and one that only likes to be exciting with him.

    3. Thankyou for all the cool nightlife stuff and the update. Yay!

  3. Maude’s back! All right! Definately good riddance to Bailey, she was a cow (don’t send Maude after me, Jen, I mean that in a good way!).

  4. This update was a big one . I woke up thinking..hmm. i wonder if Jen updated yet…and to my surprise you did, making me a very happy person. I laughed at the title but this story was so not funny, well..most of it anyway. I loved the part where Gordon? says can i have a doggy bag for my drink? I have a question. When downloading Nightlife when i get it, do i have to clean out my downloads folder beforehand because I dont really have that much downloads but i dont know if i am supposed to delete them before installing. Thanks Jen.

  5. Good riddance, Bailey! Joey’s too good for you! *hugs Joey*

    Wonderful update! You had some really great shots of expressions.. especially on Bailey’s face at the bar. And Joey’s sad face.. it made me want to give the poor guy a hug!

    Don’t worry Joey! Plenty of other fish in the sea and whatnot! You deserve so much better than that blasted Bailey! *hugs Joey again*

  6. Yay! Mrs. Crumplebottom appeared! Have you heard her voice? Squeaky lil sound eh?:lol:
    Oh and great date too? Next time try woo-hooing in the car you get a bunch of roses plus some other nice stuff :)

    Fantastic story and it looks Bailey was meant to live in the city where she fits right into the singles scene and bars :lol:

    I’m sure the Kilmans will be JUSt fine without her and Joey will soon get over Bailey’s desertion.

    So glad you’re back to writing your stories Jen!

  7. Good riddance! Totally! I hope Shea doesn’t turn out anything like her mother! So Maude, what’s going on with the other families? Or has Jen decided to go back to May Green or Annabell Island so soon? I suppose it would only have made things worse but I wish Joey would have given her more of his mind. He should have dumped her!!! Not the other way around! Joey deserves better than that….that…I can’t type the word here.

  8. :o :o :o Poor Joey!! That pic of him crying made me want to hug him too! But I guess Bailey can’t help her feelings….but what will happen to poor Shea???
    I always knew Bailey wasn’t the right girl for Joey, but I didn’t expect her to leave :o That was a surprise!

    I love the new Nightlife Expansion pack, and plan on posting a brand new story on my blog about my new Nightlife sim and her interesting life very soon.

    So…what are you doing next then? I read your last update, and found out you figured out what you are going to do, while in the bathroom xD Great place to think, that!

    I can’t wait to read whatever you are posting next, Jen, your stories ROCK! The pictures are so great too, big and clear!! (You must have a great graphics card!)


  9. Terrific update Jen, I loved reading every minute of it.
    I’m glad that you used Nightlife in your story; it added a whole new dimension.

  10. I have to say Jen, you’ve really out done yourself in the photo department. All the shots were amazing! And fit so well with the story…great job! I’m glad you’re back to posting and I’m also glad you posted some NightLife pics in this update…I need to get my daily fix. ;)

  11. Oh, man, I just love the pictures on page two… they’re so nice. #2, 3, and 5 especially. Ooh.
    XD The Old Lady… I remember her from Hot Date! Oh, man. She was so funny. But I hated her, because she always ran up to my Sims and fined them for PDA.
    It’s a little too bad about Joey and Bailey… ah, well. She always seemed a little indifferent to him. I’m more worried about Shea than the others. Poor little girl.
    It was great, though! :D Yay~ I’m glad you have the inspirations back.
    Nightlife looks really cool… I didn’t want University too much, but Nightlife looks intriguing… hmm. >_> Man. So cool an entry.

  12. Huzzah! Another awesome update! I think it is awesome how you can see all these different expressions you never would have dreamt of without the expansion pack! Darn, now I want it even more! But that’s ok, it’s all worth the great update. Keep up the good work!

  13. I loved it! The gardener part reminds me of the show desperate housewives which I love :P. Love the kiss in the car, I guess your enjoying nightlife :D.

  14. Eva – I didnt clean out my downloads folder before installing NL and everything worked fine. The only thing that mess up the game are hacks – most hacks need to be deleted for certain aspects of the game to work properly.

  15. Thanks for the comments, everyone! I’m glad you’re still enjoying Maude’s Tales. I had planned on doing a Brayton update after this but I need to give them some thought before I continue their story. In the meantime, I’m excited about Maude’s Tales and already have the pics taken for the next update! Look for it soon.

    Stories about the Shanleys, Chinchillas, and Annabel Island are on hold for the moment, but who knows when they might show up again.

    To answer some questions:

    EvaKath beat me to it! Your downloads should be fine except for hacks. I didn’t delete any of my downloads (including my hacked objects like Pescado’s clothing object) and everything seems to be working OK, for the most part. I have had a few problems with the game crashing randomly or the graphics going wonky, but I haven’t narrowed it down to any one cause (it could very well be those hacked objects). The best thing to do would be to refer to the Nightlife installation guide on Mod the Sims 2 before you install the game. It’ll give you detailed instructions on what to do. (I’d link to it specifically, but MTS2 is down at the moment, so I can’t find the exact link. It should be easy to find from the front page, though.) Good luck!

    PRMami – Actually, Bailey and Jan did woohoo in the car (hilarious!) but it was only a great date, so I guess that’s why she got a single rose.

    Kath – So what am I going to do next? I had so many families going that I needed to pare down, so I cleaned out Mt. Geneva and will only create a few new families that will be introduced gradually over the next few stories. As for the Braytons, I have plans for them, too. :-D

  16. Haha thanks Kath and Jen. Darn she beat you to it by 1 measly minute..and maybe not even that much. Thanks again. You are a Very helpful person. OOOH man i was looking forward to Cecily..again., but maude’s tales are fine with me. Im quite dandy. Haha. I love your blog btw and When oh When is the anniversary? I had trouble getting here for some ODD reason but i went to history and solved that problem..sure did. Haha ok. Bye and thanks again.

  17. Yeah, my site (including SimScribes) was down for awhile this afternoon, but everything seems to be OK again…*knocks on wood*…

    The anniversary is September 29th, and I still haven’t figured out what I’ll do to celebrate! Have any good ideas? :-)

  18. “Just a stupid spur of the moment idea but maybe Mt. Geneva should have a birthday party when September comes. Stupid, I know, but it might be a fun story to write. There’d be a holiday in the neighborhood and Maude could tell the story of that night. All the Maude’s tales families, satilite houses and the two Shaney legacy houses could be celebrating the town’s birthday. Maybe Maude would even like the Shaneys more if she got to tell their story. Maybe I’m wrong about the last part but I still think this would be a fun thing to do. It’s not a challenge but it might keep you entertained. If you’re too busy with May Green and Annabel Island then that’s okay too. Back to the challenge, I eagerly await your next update!!!” I commented that idea a while back.

  19. *Squeals madly!* :D Oh, I love your updates! And I love Maude too, the narration you do through her voice is splendid. I can almost hear it!
    Hmm. I think for celebration.. I don’t know. Maybe there’s a family or some story or something you did way in the beginning that you could restart or pick up again or such? I seem to recall something about a trailer family? :D

  20. I think cristal chinchilla, Juan the zombie, bailey, and many of the no good niks in mr. geneva should all party on one big, weird, wacky date for sept 29th. Hillarity may insue.

  21. Haha well i am so much happier that it is all up now. I freaked and panicked and my heart rate quicked to deathly speeds..just so i could read comments.. Its crazy right? I cant help my obsession with the Sims. They are fantastic and after i finish all my homework and help my brother make some frosting and cake because he has a sweet tooth ( not good for a 14 year old boy who will be 15 in may, we are so darned close. all of my siblings are), i will play my lovely sims. I hope anyway. Oh and my wonderful sister said that she was looking on eBay for something or another and she saw nightlife and she was thinking that maybe she would get it for me for my birthday that was on the 30th..i got nothing haha and iddnt care..but she said she might and i was liek WOW…but then she said that she thought that i had tooo much homework and i didnt really need another sims at this moment in time..rotten sister. That is why she wont get anything for her 23rd birthday in Noviembre…teach her to get my hopes up. Haha. Your anniversary thing should be like something that you would really enjoy, maybe something you did once and then didnt do again but would love to bring back, or some distant Shanleys, or something that you would like to try but didnt really have the time to do so. Just something along the lines of what you would like to make you happy. After all, it is your site that you have kept going for one Whole fantastic year!

  22. Really cool this update.
    I understand Bailey feelings. :-(
    I feel sorry for the poor guy and daughter but she never love him, so it´s better that way.
    And the Nightlife it´s so cool……i have so much fun play with this new expansion, much better than University.
    Keep going with the good work.:-D

  23. Oooh.. I liked Nita’s idea. That sounds really cool. n_n ‘Course, I just love seeing the Shanley’s, lol!

    And, by the by, I’ve updated my blog some more (2 updates yesterday.. I was on a roll) and gave your blog a nod. n_n

  24. I like Nita’s idea, too. But, you know, something else that sprang to mind was the visiting of a few Sims from the other neighborhoods… though, that might be too difficult? I don’t know. I just thought of that one site you mentioned on SimScribes, how the person moved everyone from the default neighborhoods…
    Though, it probably wouldn’t work too well with May Green, or the Royalty Challenge neighborhood. XD Kind of like “hey, we’re MOD!” “‘Mod’?! You’re heathens, that’s what you are!”
    But, then… that might be some of the fun of it, eh? XD I don’t know, just a silly thing.