As soon as Chris signed on, he knew it was a bad idea. His friends had told him time and time again: “Don’t read your reviews on Simazon.com! Nothing good will come of it!”
Of course, they were right. Even though some reviews were quite positive, all Chris could see were the scathing ones. And there was nothing he could do about them.
“Agggghhh! Why do people on the internet have to be so vicious? It’s a cookbook, for pete’s sake. Forty of my greatest seafood recipes, and all anyone can say is, ‘I hate the title’?”
SMACK! “I knew I shouldn’t have named it Prawns and Prejudice.”
After that blow to his ego, Chris needed some cheering up. He needed a familiar face…one that would smile at him and tell him he wasn’t the worst cookbook author in the word. He called up his good friend Agnes Crumplebottom.
“Hey, Aggie! Yeah, I’m back in town. Nah, the book tour’s not for another week. Um…yeah, let’s not talk about that. You should come over! We can…hang out.”
Fifteen minutes later…
Um…yeah, this isn’t quite what I had in mind. Aggie always has her nose stuck in a book these days…it reminds me of when I was a kid, watching TV while my mom did crosswords. Of course, it doesn’t help that Aggie is actually old enough to BE my mom…
Agnes could be so standoffish sometimes…Chris thought maybe if she had a drink or two, she’d lighten up.
He knew just the thing, too…his Super-secret Awesome PARTY DRINK! OK, so the name needed some help, but he’d fix that when he wrote his mixology book.
Chris poured the pale orange liquid into the glasses, then hesitated a moment. Did he really want to do this? Was he taking advantage of his friend, plying her with drinks so she’d loosen up, say sweet things, and make him feel better?
Yes. Yes, he was. Did he care? Would she care? Probably not.
“Aggie, come have a drink with me!”
Agnes downed her glass. “Mmmm, Chris…this is yummy. What’s in it?” A curious twinkle appeared in her eyes as she wandered over behind the bar to stand by Chris.
“Oh, just…stuff. Nothing illegal though! Don’t worry.”
“Hah! Well. I think you’re the one who should be worried…you know how silly I get when I drink.”
Chris knew. He knew it all too well.
He was playing with fire. But you see…Daredevils like fire.