How to Be Cool

Mariner's Reach

Hi all, Fran here again, writing from the island of Mariner’s Reach, where it’s beautiful even on cloudy days. Well, relatively beautiful. I mean, the island is perfect, don’t get me wrong…but my house? This little blue hut that I call home? I think it’s…alive. And possibly evil.

Remember when I joked about the stove trying to sabotage me? Well, I don’t think I should have made light of the situation. Because I think my stove reads this blog. I think I may have offended it by not taking it seriously, and now it has involved every other appliance in my home in a conspiracy to push me over the edge.

Mariner's Reach

I don’t know how else to explain it. Everything just went kerplooey all at once. First was the toilet, which clogged up so badly I spent the better part of an afternoon trying to clean it out.

Mariner's Reach

Maybe I’ve been eating too much autumn salad, but geez louise. It just plain refused to unclog. And I’m only one person! How did our toilets in Riverblossom Hills survive the onslaught of seven people using them? Eeesh.

Mariner's Reach

Then there’s my shower. Half the time I can’t even get it to produce anything resembling hot water. It might as well be spitting ice cubes at me. It takes two hours after a shower for my blood to start circulating again.

Mariner's Reach

The washer is possibly the most mischievous of the bunch. Sometimes it shakes and swerves itself right into the middle of the bathroom, like it’s trying to make an escape. Other times it spews soapy water at me when I open the lid, soaking me from head to toe. You just never know what it’s going to do. Washer, I hate you most of all. You aren’t even energy-efficient.

Mariner's Reach

I guess I should be careful. If my house really is reading this blog, I shouldn’t give it more fuel for its shenanigans. I should tell it that I love it, that I will never speak ill of it, that I am devoted to it always and forever…aw, frammit, I can’t even pretend. My house hates me and I hate it. Sigh.

I forgot to mention that my kitchen sink got in on the fun, too. It sprayed water all over my head and made a horrid mess. That was the last straw, really. I called a repairman to come and fix everything, and he did just that. Yeah, that’ll show ’em! Too bad I had to spend §50, which is a lot when you have less than §400 to your name, and there are bills to pay.

Mariner's Reach

I apologize for sounding so complainy. I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head, even if it is an evil one. And I am grateful. Besides, I have discovered something that makes even the pain of traitorous appliances go away.

This thing is called…nectar.

I was so stressed by my house falling apart that I needed to do something fun and different, so I put on my one nice outfit and strolled over to the Blue Bay Nectary.

Mariner's Reach

Seriously, where has this stuff been all my life? The heavenly combination of flavors that tingle the tongue…the super zingy sugar rush…I could drink it all day.

Mariner's Reach

While I was sampling this lovely libation, a nice lady sat down at my table and introduced herself. She said her name was Nerissa Powell and that she had just moved into a new house with her brother Murton, or “Murt”, as she calls him.

Mariner's Reach

She was one of those bold and breezy people that makes us shy folks feel more comfortable because they drive the conversation, leaving us no time to fumble about for the next thing to say. She wasn’t pushy about it, though – just very confident and skilled in the art of gabbing.

And she likes outdoorsy stuff! It’s hard to believe, but she’s one of the only people I’ve met so far on the island that actually enjoys talking about plants and sunsets and fishies. She even likes to garden, but they don’t have much space on their lot for planting, so she goes up to the community garden at the community center. I always wondered what that was! (The garden, not the center.)

Mariner's Reach

After a couple of hours of chatting and downing nectar like it was going out of style, we parted ways and promised to hang out again in the future. I’m so happy I’ve made another cool friend on the island. Of course, everything seems cool when you’re loaded with sugar. I spent a good §100 on a bottle of nectar to take home, which wasn’t the wisest thing I’ve ever done, but probably not the dumbest, either.

Mariner's Reach

I’m not sure what the dumbest thing would be, exactly, but this next thing I did has to be in the Top 10. Well, maybe it wasn’t dumb, but it was definitely uncool. See, I was so giddy from the nectar and from making a new friend that I wasn’t thinking straight, and I ended up creeping the bejeebers out of my other new friend, Gavin the Godlike Guitarist.

(continued on Page 2)

15 thoughts on “How to Be Cool

  1. Oh. My. Gosh.

    I laughed all the way through. You are a gem, my dear! I love reading what you write! Fran is adorable, and her evil house and hunky “friend for now” are so totally awesome. This was a great way to end my day… I’m off to bed chuckling, luv! xx

  2. Er, Jen, I think my washing machine and Fran’s might be related. I swear mine’s possessed, what with walking halfway across the garage, and odd little beeps all the time! And, my anti-spam word was nectar! Um, yeah, I went about five hours without coffee this afternoon since me and two mates went fishing at Cobden Beach, and the catch-up caffeine is making me a bit weird, sorry about that! Great update, though I don’t know how anybody could have possibly walked in those boots!

  3. I am with WM, I laughed the whole way through and had to abandon my cup of tea for fear of it coming out of my nose! I am so in love with awkward little Fran, she is beyond awesome and I am excited to know what she gets up to next time.

    My spam word this time was “Waffles”…. yum!!!

  4. Yay a hug that’s definitely a step up! Perfect story before bed. Now I’m sure I’ll dream about what is to happen next tonight.

    I been thinking she needs to get a pet. Sadly we only have fish, but maybe that’s what she needs to keep a fish friend to talk to. Sry very random thought lol.

  5. One should always be careful when complaining about things at home. You just never know what electrical appliances and doodads might be listening … waiting for you to say something that will cause them to run amuck! O_o But it is very nice that Fran found someone to talk to … someone that didn’t freak her out. It’s always nice to have gal pals. Plus … I’m curious about this “Murt” guy. Perhaps if things don’t work out with Gavin, she could meet “Murt”. ;O)

    Oh dear. That whole situation with Gavin at the Green Bar Place … very not awesome. Poor Fran. :O(

    Aside from the sunglasses, Fran looks totally cool. :O) Hehe. She’s got more guts than I have, that’s for sure! That house IS really cool! And I’m so proud of Fran for being so nonchalant and unassuming. And it’s about time that he noticed her a little bit! The boots really do look painful (even though they’re still cool).

    Yay for hugs!! And … she wears her sunglasses at night so she can, so she can … well, you get the idea. ;O) *snicker* Darn burglar. what the heck does Fran have that interests the burglar.

    I wonder what caused Gavin’s sudden turn around. Maybe he’s more comfortable being at home and not working when interacting with chicks. ;O)

    Great update as usual.

  6. How cool is Fran? Too cool!! Love the possessed house, the nectar/sugar high, the googly eye convo, the cool leopards and pinching boots – loved it all!! You had me wanting to slap Gavin for a mo’ but he redeemed himself in the end. Definitely looking forward to the next chapter Jen!

  7. Yay Fran! I love her new look, even if its just cool for a party. It looks fab on her. And I adore the boots. so edgy! *cheers*

  8. I adore Fran so much it hurts! I may have said this before but I love your writing and the awesome sense of humor in each and every chapter. I laughed from start to finish. Keep up the great work!

  9. Oh dear I laughed so hard, Fran and her crazy insane house…maybe she is haunted and she doesn’t even know yet, some spooky ex-islander or who knows.
    She looked really cool in her new outfit, you were really brave to let the stylist choose- i am usually too much of a chicken to do so, but she got lucky…she really looked very nice and party like, though the shades made me laugh. I suppose it can be a so-called rockchick outfit, i mean thouse rock people always wear shades and as Gaving is guy who does music…It is all very fitting.
    Fran am looking forward t oyour next update!

  10. Personally I’d have told Gavin the Godlike Guitarist to go shove his head up his jacksy if I’d been Fran – but she seems to like him, go figure. There’s no accounting for taste!!! Love the dark shades on a dark night and the uncool coolness of Fran. She really is a complete square and just brimming over with oodles of personality because of it. You write her up as if you geuinely like her, Jen ;)

    I love reading about her, she makes me smile and want to read more :)

  11. I felt really sorry for Fran when she left the Green bar. But her coolness was hilarious, and I lolled at the do-able debate she had in her head :D

  12. MOST excellent, as always. I read one page, did something else for awhile, read another, etc., to extend the time I was able to enjoy this update. Your updates always make me want to play, but alas, my game never looks as good, or feels as right, as you make it sound :).

  13. “OMG” was exactly how I thought to begin my comments as well, but the idea was already taken! Actually, I could copy-paste what WebbyMom wrote: I laughed to tears, and you have a new reader: my boyfriend, who was wondering why I was laughing like a silly in front of my computer. *lol* Everything was so funny, from the house being alive to her new friend around a glass of nectar, her stylist make-over (I got that one too!), and her party at Gavin. *wipe away tear of laughter* You’re great, Jen, I’m so happy to know your blog! It’s a real bubble of fun. :)
    If Fran has a fan-club, I’m member of it!

  14. Since I’m a complete slacker and didn’t get to read these fast enough to make the allowable comment window, I’ll put all my comments here. ;)

    ==Comments for “The Little Blue Hut”==

    Poor Fran, burning her first meal in her brand new home RIGHT ON THE BEACH! Even if the food isn’t the best, the scenery is. :D (Love her table “centerpiece” too. *giggle*)

    HA! *gigglesnorts* Yes, Fran, at least you’re in good company with having issues with the treadmill. *snickers*

    I agree, living on a tropical island, you shouldn’t sit inside and watch TV all day. *nods*

    Good luck with your garden!

    Ooo, poor girl. *comforts Fran* Falling into water is bad enough; falling into a swamp? Blech! Good gracious, this girl is cursed, isn’t she. *blinks* Burns her waffles, can’t catch a “real” fish to save her life, and even burned her marshmellows? *shakes her head*

    ==Comments for “Two Steps Forward”==

    YIKES! I didn’t know the stuff could explode either, but I’m not surprised Fran figured out how to do it. *snickers*

    She’s lucky she’s got an uncle who can help her with some tips on this stuff. *chuckles*

    Woot! Congrats on a successful fishing expedition AND cooking food that’s still edible! *cheers*

    I’m glad she’s trying to not be a hermit! (And beautiful scenery she gets to jog in!)

    Ooo, cute guy! And gotta love musically inclined men. *swoons* It’s too bad the mom’s didn’t take their kids home so you could enjoy the music and the waterfall a little better. But gratz on the fish!

    *snickers at Fran* Interesting choice of name suggestions. *giggles* “the edges of the peanut butter jar of my soul”?!? *blinks* WOOT! You scored his number! You go girl! *cheers*

    Twallan’s Whoohooer mod?? I never even heard of this! Is it on the main site with the main story progression thing? That’s AWESOME!!

    ==Comments for “How to Be Cool”==

    *peers at Fran* I’m so sorry to hear your house has turned against you. *can’t believe she just “said” something like that*

    It may be a lot of money, but it’s probably money well spent to have a professional come fix everything at once for you. *comforts Fran* And maybe you’re right, your house is turning against you.

    You complained about spending money on a handyman to fix up her house, but she’ll spend twice that on liquor and call it good? *tickles Fran*

    Oh, poor Fran. :( Ouch. *sighs* Well that kinda sucked.

    *blink* Nothing like sending mixed messages, Gavin. *winces at Fran* I hope you can pull off smooth, honey. I really do.

    Fran, you do look good in the outfit. Now learn to WORK IT, GIRL!

    That’s some nice boarding house Gavin found himself living in there.

    It might be the boots. They are pretty Hot Babe kinda boots. But it may also be that you look very kewl in your new threads and fit them well. Very cool that he not only sought you out again but also asked you to dance. *cheers*

    *snickers* Poor Fran. Even when being the epitome of cool, is still the essence of Fran. Glad your neighbor saw the burglar. *giggles*

    Don’t stress so much about the fine line of gameplay and story-telling because you definitely seem to have it right. :D