Good morning, all! It’s time for another update, but we’re going to leave the Kilman family for a time and go back to the Blakemores. “The WHO?” you ask. Well, you may recall that our resident ladykiller Nick Dobbins had an affair with Tess Blakemore awhile back, resulting in the birth of little flaxen-haired Ferris. I check back on them often to see how they’re doing, and I thought I would share a bit of their story with you. Pull up a nice overstuffed chair and get comfortable!

Tess Blakemore was poor (Nick, of course, never gave her any money to help raise Ferris) and often lived beyond her means. She loved to shop, buying more than she could afford, and indulged in hiring a maid even though her house was tiny. She didn’t want to waste time cleaning when she could be out hobnobbing with co-workers, especially those of the male persuasion (ahem).

Tess worked as an Executive Assistant at Happy Lawn, Inc. (makers of fine pink flamingos and garden gnomes) and hoped with enough shmoozing she could get promoted to Sales. Since she was rarely home, she hired a nanny to take care of Ferris. She also bought a magnificent dollhouse to keep her little girl happy, and Ferris played with it constantly. It was the only thing she had.

Ferris was always thrilled to see her mother, and often ran out to hug her when she came home from work. She got along fine with the nanny, but her mom was more fun. The nanny made her eat healthy food, but her mom liked to order pizza, and that was Ferris’s absolute favorite. Tess and Ferris also shared a love for music, and they liked to blast the radio and show off their dance moves. They got along wonderfully, all things considered.

But how long could Tess continue to live a rather extravagant lifestyle on such a meager salary? It had to catch up with her at some point, and catch up with her, it did! Unfortunately I was there to watch everything unravel.

It all began with the nanny. Tess didn’t have enough money to pay her after her shift one day, so that darned nanny took the bathroom sink as payment! The same thing happened with the maid, but she took the radio. You’d think they’d be kind enough to wait a day for payment, but no, dear readers, those maids and nannies are impatient for their wages! What’s worse, the maid was so upset at not being paid that she quit outright.

Ferris was distraught at the loss of the sink and the radio, but Tess made up for it by ordering pizza. Actually, she HAD to order pizza for dinner because the refrigerator was empty! Tess was tired and didn’t have the time or money to go to the grocery store. They ate up half the pizza and went to bed.

That night, if you can believe it, things got even worse. Some hoodlums turned over the Blakemore’s garbage can, spilling rancid food all over the curb. Then a burglar broke into the house! Tess hadn’t been able to afford a burglar alarm when she moved in, so he was able to steal the sofa and Ferris’s beloved dollhouse before disappearing into the night.

When Tess woke up the next morning to find that someone had robbed her, she broke down and cried.

Ferris wasn’t too happy about it, either.

Tess had to go to work that morning, so she pulled herself together and went to get ready. While she was in the shower, the pipes made an odd groaning noise, and water began to shoot everywhere, making a mess of the bathroom.

Good heavens. What else could go wrong?

That’s right, while Tess was trying to heat up some leftovers for breakfast, a fire broke out in the kitchen. At least they had a smoke detector installed! A fireman appeared on the scene almost immediately to put out the blaze. Ferris thought he was very brave.

But it doesn’t end there, dear readers! When Ferris went out to the schoolbus a few minutes later, she found a horde of roaches in the front yard. Apparently they had been attracted to the pile of garbage adorning the sidewalk. Eugh, how I hate roaches! Disgusting little vermin! Ferris didn’t like them much, either.

Tess was at her wit’s end. She had no money, no sofa, no bathroom sink, her house was a mess, the shower was broken, and roaches had invaded her yard. She sat and stared into space for a long, long time, pondering her situation.

Finally she got up and made a phone call to the SimCity Pawn Shop. She sold them Ferris’s bed, which gave her enough money to call an exterminator and get the shower fixed.

After work, Tess had enough money to buy groceries. She decided to forgo all her usual socializing for the evening in order to do some painting. Painting calmed her, which helped her keep her focus at work. She needed that promotion to Sales, and fast! Otherwise she would lose everything. Maybe even her daughter!

Ferris came home from school to find her bed gone, but at least the roaches were gone, too. She really didn’t mind sleeping with Tess since she had bad dreams about burglars, and she felt safer with her mom nearby.

At least their brief descent into chaos had a somewhat happy ending! I wonder what the next few days will bring for the Blakemores? Surely they can’t be worse than the last two days. Keep your fingers crossed! Au revoir, dear readers.