Juan of the Dead

Though no one had liked Juan much – aside from his wife and daughter – the Shanleys were full of grief over his loss. Even Sierra, who had quarreled with her brother-in-law from Day One, sobbed and mourned, and Thomas could only stand by helplessly and watch.

Sierra mourns
“I hated that man…hated him!” *sob*

When little Ruby awoke and heard the news of her father’s passing, she sobbed, too. She knew her dad had been a bit of a stinker, but she missed him terribly.

Ruby weeps
“Who will make me do calisthenics every morning?”

In fact, she missed him so much that she did something horrible.

She had heard her Aunt Sierra talk about the mysterious phone device she had ordered – one that could bring people back from the dead – so she went in search of it the next night. Now, Ruby hadn’t heard the unfortunate story of the Goobi Goomba village elder who had come back as a zombie, so she believed the strange contraption either brought them back the way they were, or not at all. When she finally tracked down the creepy-looking thing in Sierra’s equally creepy bedroom, she eyed it nervously.

Ruby eyes the evil phone
“Uh…maybe I could just order a pizza?”

After a few minutes, she gathered her courage and hit the speed dial button for the Grim Reaper. A foul voice answered the phone, and Ruby cried, “I want my father back!”

Her demand was met with harsh laughter. “Pay!” it said. “Pay the price, and he shall be returned to you!”

Ruby pondered this for a moment. “Well, I can give you everything in my piggy bank, and whatever’s in my college fund.”

There was another evil chortle, then a poof of smoke, and Ruby’s father appeared! Ruby let out a shriek of joy, then gasped in horror when the smoke faded, revealing a much altered Juan Shanley.

Ruby cringes
“Oh, crap! Mom’s gonna kill me!”

But…he was still her father, wasn’t he? Hesitantly she reached her arms out to hug him, but he would have nothing to do with her.

Juan refuses to hug Ruby
“Ruby, what have you done? I was on a beach…with hula dancers…and now this!”

“Don’t you love us?” Ruby asked. But Juan simply stared at her with a glazed look in his eye. Grunting oddly, he turned and shuffled off towards the door.

It took him five times as long to get anywhere now that he was a zombie, but he eventually found Delaney downstairs, heading for the bathroom. He did still love her, he realized as he shambled after her, though he felt like a completely different person – if he could even call himself a ‘person’.

Juan shambles after Delaney

Delaney was horrified at first, and grounded her daughter until her next birthday, but after awhile she got used to this modified version of her husband. He was grouchier than ever, and much lazier, but he didn’t prank anyone anymore, and he retained some of his old, charming habits.

Juan eats sloppily
“Ah, there’s the Juan I know and love!”

He even went back to some of the activities he had enjoyed before, such as playing the drums…

Juan plays drums
“It’s the time…of the sea-ee-son for lov-ing…”

…and writing books. Though his subject matter was a little different this time around.

Juan writes about brains
“It was a dark and stormy brain…”

The Shanleys were used to weirdness, and eventually it was as if Juan had never left – except for one thing: he still gave Ruby the brush-off whenever she approached him. One night as he shambled off to his carpool (he had just gotten a job as a Waterboy for the Mt. Geneva Llamas kickball team) she ran up to him, eager to show him her report card. But he climbed into the car without even sparing her a glance.

Ruby tries to show Juan her report card
“Dad, look! I got an A+++ in gym class!…Dad?”

Ruby frowned as the car sped off down the palm-tree-lined street. Would her father ever forgive her? Or would he always hate her for what she did to him? Only time would tell.

20 thoughts on “Juan of the Dead

  1. Awesome! :D Aw, poor Juan. Poor Ruby! Maybe she’ll grow up to be a witch doctor/real doctor to cure mankind of zombieism?
    Medical research, here she comes!

  2. Haha, that’s hilarious. I love how Juan’s leg drags behind him, and the tilted-head/gaping-mouth pictures of Juan in Ruby’s thought bubbles. You take such great pictures! Keep up the great story-telling… curious to hear what happens next.

  3. Oh no – does that mean the Shanleys are stuck with Juan forever! AAAAAAAGH!!

  4. Oh My Gawd! This is funny! I have not come across anyone who has done the zombie thing. So is Juan always stinky? how much worse is he? Does he really hate his daughter now? Oh left a response for you on my blog.

  5. Thank you x 3. Funny and sad. Could you explain if Juan will die again, or stay alive forever?

  6. haha Jen that was so funny but I feel bad for poor Ruby! Her father shouldn’t be so mean to her, the poor girl. :lol: Anyway, it’s nice to see an update from you so soon after the last one.

  7. PRMami – Juan was extremely stinky after he first came back from the dead, but he was fine after a decent shower. ;-) His personality is MUCH worse now. I don’t remember his exact stats, but none of his traits go above a 3. He doesn’t really hate Ruby, but their relationship did seem to suffer a little bit, and he did refuse her hug, so I sorta took that and ran with it.

    lil – According to the Prima Guide, Juan won’t die of old age now, so he’s effectively immortal. He can, however, still starve to death, be electrocuted, drown, etc. I wonder if cow plants will eat zombies? Ick.

  8. Awesome! I love it! Poor Ruby. Will Juan be able to produce children, now that he is a zombie?

    Oh and I have a blog up, and this time it has pictures.

  9. Just letting you know that I’ve updated my blog again. Might be too many pictures even, they go from #34 to #116! (not necessarily exactly that number, but)

  10. i didn’t know that zombies would do all the normal things, too. (i’ve never really played with all the Uni features.) great story! :)

  11. Jen I do not like the Shanleys. They aren’t interesting, and they aren’t (insertwordhere) I just am not drawn to them.

  12. Hi Lindsey, if you don’t like the Shanleys, just don’t read those entries. No need to be rude.

    Anyway, Jen, looking forward to the next update! I’m curious whether zombies can have children?

  13. Pfhh. Don’t listen to Lindsey, Jen! I like all your stories, and it seems to me it’s the same way with the rest of your fans. =)

  14. Yes, please keep writing Jen!

    Just wanted to let everyone know that you should check out some of my uploaded sims (well, custom-made clothing). I have been on a creative spurt lately…and I do all types of clothes. So, please check! If you can’t get to it using the link, on sims2.com my screenname is vivisim4 .


    I await your next update Jen!