Juan of the Dead

Though most of the Shanleys thought both Juan and his book were ridiculous, they embraced the idea of the pool party. Everyone was so busy working and raising children that they rarely had a chance to get together and just relax.

Not everyone lounged around, though. Ruby and Juan, the most “active” of the Shanley clan, spent the whole afternoon in the pool, racing each other and splashing around.

Ruby and Juan swim
“I wanna be just like my dad when I grow up! Well, except for the pranking…and the obnoxious behavior…and the bad table manners…”

Of course, Juan had to take a few breaks to go call his publisher.

Juan thinks about his book
“I think I’ll work on a sequel…I can call it ‘Juanfoolery’…or maybe ‘Zen and the Art of Total Mayhem’…”

By the time Delaney finally decided to climb into the pool, Juan had worn himself out.

Delaney watches Juan nap
“Quick – somebody put his hand in a glass of warm water!”

Juan eventually woke up and dragged himself over to the grill to make some hot dogs. As he served the food, he wondered why he was so tired. For the first time in his life he felt incredibly old.

After dinner, Mia and Sierra snatched up the lounge chairs and chatted quietly into the night.

“You know,” said Mia, “Juan wasn’t too bad today. I’d say he was almost…nice.”

Sierra laughed.

Mia and Sierra chat
“He’s so busy congratulating himself he hasn’t had time to prank or insult anyone.”

“I think you’re right.” Mia paused thoughtfully. “And you know, he really is a good father to Ruby. She’s turned out to be such a sweet girl.”

At that moment, the sweet girl was being tucked in by her grandpa Marcel, who had left the pool party early. He was getting more eccentric and antisocial in his old age — eating dinner by himself, staying up late to read his hordes of books, and practicing speeches in the hallway mirror. Whenever anyone asked him what he was doing, he mumbled something about “maxing skills”, but no one knew exactly what that meant.

He was always kind to his grandchildren, though, and hoped they’d grow up to have his love of knowledge.

Marcel tucks in Ruby
“Sleep, little one, and dream of great things.”

Eventually the rest of the Shanleys headed off to bed, and the house grew silent – except for Delaney, who was keeping her husband awake with her incessant snoring. Juan rolled over in bed and stared at her in frustration. He was exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep! And now nature was calling…

Juan climbed out of bed and left Delaney behind, wheezing blissfully, with Ruby in deep slumber not far away.

Delaney and Ruby sleep

In the bathroom on the other side of the house, it was blessedly quiet. But as Juan flushed the toilet he heard the strains of ukelele music…which only grew louder as the toilet ceased its gurgling. When he turned around, he was face-to-face with…well, something faceless. It was the Grim Reaper, of course, offering him an aromatic drink in a tiki mug. Beside him two lovely hula dancers swayed, as much as they could sway in a tiny, crowded bathroom.

“Is this a joke?” Juan asked the Hooded One.

But the Reaper simply handed him the drink and motioned towards the suitcase that had appeared at Juan’s feet.

Suddenly the door flew open, and Sierra and Mia stood there with angry looks on their faces.

The Reaper comes for Juan
“So,” said Sierra. “We meet again.”

But the Reaper paid no attention to them. Instead, he took Juan’s hand and disappeared with him into the ether. As the hula dancers dissolved, Sierra finally realized what had happened. She rushed into the bathroom to find a plain gray urn resting on the tile.

“Oh no!” she cried. “Juan…is gone!”

(continued on Page 3)

20 thoughts on “Juan of the Dead

  1. Awesome! :D Aw, poor Juan. Poor Ruby! Maybe she’ll grow up to be a witch doctor/real doctor to cure mankind of zombieism?
    Medical research, here she comes!

  2. Haha, that’s hilarious. I love how Juan’s leg drags behind him, and the tilted-head/gaping-mouth pictures of Juan in Ruby’s thought bubbles. You take such great pictures! Keep up the great story-telling… curious to hear what happens next.

  3. Oh no – does that mean the Shanleys are stuck with Juan forever! AAAAAAAGH!!

  4. Oh My Gawd! This is funny! I have not come across anyone who has done the zombie thing. So is Juan always stinky? how much worse is he? Does he really hate his daughter now? Oh left a response for you on my blog.

  5. Thank you x 3. Funny and sad. Could you explain if Juan will die again, or stay alive forever?

  6. haha Jen that was so funny but I feel bad for poor Ruby! Her father shouldn’t be so mean to her, the poor girl. :lol: Anyway, it’s nice to see an update from you so soon after the last one.

  7. PRMami – Juan was extremely stinky after he first came back from the dead, but he was fine after a decent shower. ;-) His personality is MUCH worse now. I don’t remember his exact stats, but none of his traits go above a 3. He doesn’t really hate Ruby, but their relationship did seem to suffer a little bit, and he did refuse her hug, so I sorta took that and ran with it.

    lil – According to the Prima Guide, Juan won’t die of old age now, so he’s effectively immortal. He can, however, still starve to death, be electrocuted, drown, etc. I wonder if cow plants will eat zombies? Ick.

  8. Awesome! I love it! Poor Ruby. Will Juan be able to produce children, now that he is a zombie?

    Oh and I have a blog up, and this time it has pictures.

  9. Just letting you know that I’ve updated my blog again. Might be too many pictures even, they go from #34 to #116! (not necessarily exactly that number, but)

  10. i didn’t know that zombies would do all the normal things, too. (i’ve never really played with all the Uni features.) great story! :)

  11. Jen I do not like the Shanleys. They aren’t interesting, and they aren’t (insertwordhere) I just am not drawn to them.

  12. Hi Lindsey, if you don’t like the Shanleys, just don’t read those entries. No need to be rude.

    Anyway, Jen, looking forward to the next update! I’m curious whether zombies can have children?

  13. Pfhh. Don’t listen to Lindsey, Jen! I like all your stories, and it seems to me it’s the same way with the rest of your fans. =)

  14. Yes, please keep writing Jen!

    Just wanted to let everyone know that you should check out some of my uploaded sims (well, custom-made clothing). I have been on a creative spurt lately…and I do all types of clothes. So, please check! If you can’t get to it using the link, on sims2.com my screenname is vivisim4 .


    I await your next update Jen!