In her diary, Cecily wrote: “He is the handsomest, most dashing man I have ever met, with an air of something you might call vanity, but I would name confidence. He has more assurance than any of those reckless schoolboys whom I have the misfortune of knowing, and an authority in his voice that makes me feel safe and comfortable. James Haddaway is a true gentleman.”

Though Cecily thought James was nearly perfect, James’ grandmother thought he was far from it. She lectured him at every opportunity, grooming him as much as she could for when he would take over the “Haddaway empire”. Even the day before James left for college, and in the presence of Cecily, Mrs. Haddaway gave him a list of things to avoid at college, such as smoking, drinking, and betting.

James listened to Mrs. Haddaway’s speech with a dutiful expression, then laughed and said, “Will you permit me to leave my room, grandmother? Or must I stay there at all times and have my professors deliver my coursework?”

Mrs. Haddaway merely clucked her tongue at him and shook her head angrily before striding out of the room. Cecily watched with interest as James’ mother Sophia then approached him and chided him for being so disrespectful to his grandmother.

“But mother, you know I won’t do any of those things she mentioned,” James said. “I’m still a child in her eyes.”

Cecily wanted to shout in agreement — it wasn’t fair that Mrs. Haddaway treated James like a child when he was so obviously a man, and a responsible one at that. How she wished she could walk boldly up to him and ask him to take a stroll around the grounds with her, or sit with her on one of the many fine stone benches outside. She wanted to be alone with him more than anything, but she knew it wasn’t possible. Young ladies didn’t do that kind of thing.

Sophia sighed at her son’s protestations and said, “I’ll speak to you about this later.” Turning gracefully on her heel she went back to where Cecily was seated with James’s sister Dorothy.

“That boy,” Sophia said in a rare moment of vulnerability before changing the subject to weather.

Later on at dinner, the Haddaways’ butler Norris served everyone a plate of roasted turkey, potatoes, dressing, and greens, which was supposedly James’s favorite meal. Philip and Sophia Haddaway were at either end of the table with Mrs. Haddaway at Philip’s right and across from Cecily. It was Cecily’s first full dinner with the Haddaways, and she was very conscious of being the only person at the table not related to the family.

She tried to be as quiet and well-mannered as possible, hoping no one would ask her any awkward questions. Whenever she looked at Mrs. Haddaway, she gave her a kind smile, but everyone else at the table ignored her. Finally Sophia addressed her, and much to Cecily’s horror, she brought up a delicate subject.

“How is your stepmother these days, Cecily? I don’t receive the pleasure of her company very often.”

Cecily knew that Sophia had chosen her words carefully. Even though Cecily wanted to be part of the Haddaway family, she was no stranger to their often haughty attitude of superiority. Sophia had always shown disdain for Arianna and her humble origins as the Braytons’ maid.

“She’s well, thank you,” Cecily said, refusing to contribute any information that might add fuel to Sophia’s cause. She took a bite of her turkey and stared at her plate.

Unfortunately Mrs. Haddaway continued the conversation, which made Cecily want to crawl underneath the table.

“I heard,” said Mrs. Haddaway, “that she has joined one of those women’s rights groups in town. She’s to give a speech on equality next Thursday. And I for one plan on attending.”

Cecily was grateful to Mrs. Haddaway for coming to Arianna’s defense, but she still wished the subject hadn’t even been mentioned. It was only sure to get everyone fired up and make her family look even crazier than it already did.

“Those women have gone too far,” Sophia said in response. “It’s one thing to desire rights for women, but to stand up in public and make such a display? It’s preposterous.”

“I agree,” pronounced Philip loudly, as much to chastise the Haddaway women for being outspoken themselves as to agree with Sophia’s statement. For a moment everyone was silent again. Suddenly James spoke out.

“And why shouldn’t they speak in public, or run for office, or swagger about town as any man might do? Perhaps we men could find more interesting wives if women were allowed to leave their homes once in awhile.”

Philip nearly choked on his potatoes at that declaration, and Sophia gasped in astonishment. Even Cecily was shocked, though she had to admit, she loved James now more than ever.

“We are finished with this topic of conversation!” Philip thundered, wiping the corners of his mouth with his napkin. Cecily got the feeling he often made very loud proclamations of that sort. It frightened her a little.

After that, James excused himself from the dinner table and all conversation ceased. Cecily felt a sudden urge to go home, but she had to be polite and wait until after dessert. She also hoped to see James one more time before she left.

Much to Cecily’s surprise, the other Haddaway boy asked her and Dorothy to sit and talk with him while the adults played cards in the drawing room. Dorothy declined to join them, claiming she was “too tired for idle conversation”, and retired to her room.

“It’s just us then,” Samuel said with a smile. The two sat in the front parlor and discussed all manner of things from favorite songs to town scandals. Cecily was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Samuel. He didn’t seem to have quite the same patronizing air that Sophia, Philip, Dorothy — and even sometimes Mrs. Haddaway and James — had.

Unfortunately Samuel had to excuse himself in the middle of their spirited conversation to use the toilet, leaving Cecily alone in the parlor to listen to the adults playing cards in the next room. While she was sitting there, idly wondering what James was doing at that moment, he suddenly appeared on the stair and made his way jauntily down it.

Cecily stiffened. Surely he would acknowledge her? She was the only person in the room. But what would she say? Her mouth went dry.

James reached the bottom of the stairs and looked around almost furtively. When his eyes alighted upon Cecily, he frowned momentarily, then broke into a wide smile.

“Good evening, Cecily,” he said quietly, tipping his hat. “I had to take a break from all that packing. Is everyone in the drawing room?”

Cecily nodded, unable to speak.

“Ah, good,” he said. “I’m off to take my evening stroll. I shan’t be returning anytime soon, so please give them my regards, would you?” He chuckled at the idea of that, then tipped his hat once more before gliding out of the room.

Cecily watched him leave, wanting more than anything to chase after him, but she knew it wouldn’t be appropriate. Nor did she have the feeling he wanted her around. She was still a child to him, much as he was still a child to Mrs. Haddaway. Instead she sighed and hoped her father would bring the carriage soon so she could leave Haddaway Hall. She didn’t want to be there if James was gone.

Fortunately Mr. Brayton showed up with the carriage not long after, and Cecily bid the Haddaways farewell. With a heavy heart and her eyes tearing up, she rode home next to her father, who merely talked about Arthur and how he made them all laugh by making up his own silly nursery rhymes.

That night, she wrote in her diary,”How will I survive without seeing James for four months? And why doesn’t my father care about me anymore? I feel like the sun has just gone out.”