Maude here with another episode in the Kilman Family saga. I will warn you — this story is not for the faint of heart! It contains a true family tragedy, one that will haunt the Kilmans for years to come. But if you feel you can stomach it, do read on…

Last we left the Kilmans, Tiffy was struggling with school and Joey was dreaming about winning the lottery, but everyone was relatively happy. Rhonda and Sid were one of most loving couples in Mt. Geneva, and Sid was working hard to improve his family’s situation. Working so hard, in fact, that he was constantly exhausted. Yet he still found time to clean the house…

…and complete his daily regimen of jumping jacks and toe touches in the living room. He was determined to make the SimCity Llamas team, but he knew he had to be in top physical condition before they would allow him to play.

While he was working out on this particular day, Joey and Tiffy brought some classmates home from school with them, Alvin Futa and Ricky Cormier. I have to say, I don’t know why they brought those two kids home, because they weren’t very nice boys. They mostly sat and talked to each other, ignoring Joey.

Tiffy had gone to check herself in the hallway mirror and found, much to her dismay, that a number of pimples had appeared on her face. Just her luck! She knew she wouldn’t impress anyone if she had huge red pustules on her forehead. She borrowed some of Joey’s acne cream and applied a generous layer of it to her face.

When she returned to the living room, she found the boys in the middle of an argument. Alvin was saying horrible things about Rhonda, Tiffy’s mother, and Joey wouldn’t hear any of it. “I’m sick of people!” he said, throwing his hands up in the air. “Especially you two! Now get out!”

Alvin and Ricky left, grumbling to themselves, and life went back to normal for awhile. That is, until another schoolmate, Sophie Miguel, walked by the house. Tiffy must have been in a friendly mood, despite her blemishes, because she invited Sophie in for cookies. Unfortunately Sophie did not return the kindness. All she did was scoff at their meager belongings and insult poor Tiffy, who had done nothing to deserve it.

Having thoroughly upset Tiffy, Sophie left the house, but before she did, she turned her nose up at Sid, who was now seated on the couch reading a book and wearing a strange contraption called a Noodlesoother. It was supposed to keep him in a good mood so he wouldn’t be irritable from lack of sleep, but as he was always a good-natured fellow, it didn’t seem to make much difference.

Sid didn’t seem bothered by Sophie’s attitude and kept right on reading, even as the rest of the family gathered in the kitchen for dinner. Sid decided he was too busy (or too stinky) to eat dinner and headed straight to the bathroom for a bubble bath. Now, I was just floating around the kitchen watching Rhonda serve spaghetti to the kids when I felt…well, forgive me if this sounds a bit outlandish, but I sensed that something horrible was happening, and even though I’m a ghost, I became rather chilled. “Chilled to the bone”, I might have said when I was alive. It was a ghastly feeling.

Tiffy must have sensed something, too, that sharp girl, because she got up from her meal right away and headed for the bathroom. Confused, Joey followed, while Rhonda just sat there for a moment before heading in the same direction.

You can guess, dear readers, what they found in the bathroom. Their poor father was curled up next to the bathtub, lifeless as can be. And then who should appear but the Grim Reaper himself?

All too well do I remember the day I first saw his terrible visage. Or lack of visage, I should say. But of course that’s another story for another time! We’re talking about poor Sid here. While he lay on the bathroom floor, the Reaper whipped out his cell phone and called…who? I cannot say. But when he disappeared he seemed to take Sid with him and left nothing but an urn of his ashes on the floor.

Rhonda seemed to take it the hardest. Her dear husband was gone! He had exercised himself to death, passed out from exhaustion. Or had that bizarre Noodlesoother done the deed? She didn’t know what to think.

The next day they buried Sid’s urn in the backyard and planted flowers which seemed to wilt almost immediately. Tiffy was so upset she couldn’t even look at the gravestone. Rhonda cried the whole time as her friend Kelsey tried to comfort her. Joey just looked stunned.

As for me, I wished I could reassure them that death wasn’t really the end, and that Sid would probably be roaming around their house in no time, opening the refrigerator and turning on the television at all hours of the night (we ghosts engage in a lot of silly behaviors). But alas, I couldn’t give the Kilmans any comfort, so I left them to their sorrow.

How will Rhonda deal with the loss of her husband? Will she have to get a job now to support her family? Will she find love again? Will the kids grow up well with such a painful event in their past? We shall see! And remember, dear readers, always get enough sleep. Don’t depend upon those insidious Noodlesoothers to keep you happy. Technology, hmph!